Throw it on the fire and take the car down town

Oh my god- what a hilarious morning I had. I have offered to help out a Sadie's school every couple of weeks, and usually us parents are sensibly designated to the dummy jobs like cutting realistic leaf shapes out of card or tidying the crumbs up from the snack corner....., but today, as the only one stupid enough to volunteer to help for 'Maths Week' (I am such a creep), I was basically enrolled as a maths teacher (luckily this is reception year so I just about had the know-how). There was me thinking that spying on my daughter in class was going to be a swizz.
My job was to play maths games FOR TWO HOURS with a group of four and five year olds. It was like trying to deal with a group of extremely pissed people who didn't give a flying f**k what I said and just wanted to skid around on the floor or pinch each other. The funniest part was when I took them into the playground to count our footsteps and, like a firework exploding, the moment our feet hit the concrete, the six little excitable munchkins splayed off in all directions. I couldn't gather them all back into a group for about ten minutes. I think all they learnt about maths was 'How many minutes does it take for that silly woman with the red hair to come and find us all?'. Oh how I laughed. And oh how my slight incline towards becoming a primary school teacher just faded right there and then. But at the end of the class when they all sweetly said in unison "Thank you for helping us today Cathy" I nearly wept. Ah- kids are ace. Maybe there is hope yet.....

Soundtrack: David Bowie-Kooks