Phipps: you were right. It is all going to pot....

I always agreed with Blur when they said ‘Modern Life Is Rubbish’ (a phrase they actually stole from a graffitied wall in Finsbury Park- I later met the man who sprayed it- a violinist called Fred Phipps from Swiss Cottage, an old school friend of The Ex). You may remember that I only recently purchased a mobile telephone- the original purpose of which was for emergencies only- not long distance badly abbreviated sex talk and mind games. Since I was last single and out there looking for fun and frolics, the world of dating has become really, really odd. Nobody has conversations anymore- they are all either emailing, facebooking or text messaging each other cryptic, self-absorbed drivel and are multi-flirting with it, just to keep their options open. I have started to fall into the same trap but I have halted in my tracks as I’m not getting much out of this. The opportunities for people to have more choice about who is going to massage their ego are widening, and it is sadly meaning the levels of intimacy are narrowing. Uber Lips wants to “add me as a friend on facebook”. No! I don’t want to be one of your 213 friends on facebook! I don’t want to have the added hell of knowing “what you are doing right now” and what your undoubtedly gorgeous ex girlfriend looks like and where you went on holiday together last year before I’ve even had the chance to get to know you! I have informed him of this and I hope the chap understands my desire for a good old fashioned telephone conversation rather than the to-ing and fro-ing of meaningless albiet flattering ramblings. Text messages and emails are easy, but talking isn’t, unless it’s with someone that you click with. I want spur of the moment not well thought out innuendos and chat up lines… And you would think as a writer I would prefer this form of communication- well I don’t. All it is doing is giving people more of an excuse to cover themselves and not get close to people. Men invented texting and emailing. Now there's a surprise. Just like they invented the bra, they have created a convenience and falseness around real interactions. And I guess it is up to the individual how much we get sucked in by it. Well I want to hear someone's dulcet tones down the phone and gage from their voice how much like me. I want a dialect that can't be edited or deleted for fear of "being yourself". I will not be burning my phone or my computer, but I will be watching myself in case I end up a communication couch potato like so many...(she says...the blog writer herself!)