Immortal Fish

Well- what a lovely welcome home we've had. Although it could have always been worse. We arrived back last night to a very post-Christmas flat (note- we had headed off on our travels around the UK very hungover on Boxing Day morning) which was bad enough. We found out that the fish hadn't been fed by our neighbour (he had been drunk when we'd asked him) but they were just surviving, I slid on the goose fat that was still on the kitchen floor (apparantely it takes months to get rid of), the pine needles were everywhere, scrunched and ripped wrapping paper was flowing from every bin, and, just as we were putting off the tidying up and settling down to a nice mug of hot herbal tea, it all got ten times worse. The shelf with the fish tank on which sits directly above our TV, CD player and DVD player, decided to leap off the wall- causing chaos everywhere. Broken glass, shocked pets and fish-poo water were strewn halfway across the flat, and across all our electricals. We now have no sound system and a tv that fizzles when I watch it so I think it's best left off. The carpet is damp and smells a bit. Our fish are surprisingly OK, after we found one under the dining table and the other wriggling under a shard of glass, that 2mm closer would have garotted him. Him and his mate are now swimming about happily in my teapot. Not a nice thing to deal with when you've come home after holiday, but thank f@£k it didn't happen when we were away or we would have come back to broken glass, DEAD pets and fish-poo water everywhere.
Andy and I took this as God's way of making sure we watch less television. We have been glued to the box all week (unless you count our intermittent Scrabble championships- I'm beating him by miles by the way), as in Devon we had cable (which we don't have at home) so we were in channel-flicking heaven until about 1am every night. I now realise why I usually go to bed around 10pm at home- because terrestrial tv is pants after 10 o'clock (unless you count Shameless which is brilliant).