Floral gestures and deflated balloons

A man bought me some flowers the other day, and when I woke up the following day they had wilted, despite being in a vase of water and in full sunlight. Three days previously I had bought myself some flowers, as I do every week now to help put a little spring in my step (thanks Nat for the tip), and on that same morning, they had completely blossomed and, almost one week later, they are still thriving. There is a lesson in there somewhere.
Apologies for abysmal efforts at writing on here of late. My main reason is that my computer at home is so completely achingly slow that I get all in a tizz and lose the will to live let alone ramble about my sad life in cyberspace.
I am at work at present tinkling away. It's so lovely and peaceful here I could almost think about writing some of The Book. The Book that has suffered of late. Why is it that I find it easier to write when I am feeling vaguely cheesed off than when I am feeling in the mood for humming Kylie tunes? Teenage kicks zap my creativity. The Book is coming back now though; just as the 79p Co-op floral gesture of guilt began to sag, my ideas started to come back.
Visited the last few events of the Brighton Festival this weekend- the upside down giant purple cow thing in the middle of town and some Hove open houses-, and even had a swim in the sea early on Saturday morning. It was completely freezing but got the blood pumping. An elderly gentlemen came and shook my hand afterwards and said "You are one very brave girl". Which was nice. He may have also been referring to my choice of swimming partner, but that is a whole other story (remember Merman?Put it this way- we were lucky not to be arrested...)
I think I am slightly getting into extreme sports (well- by my normal standards these are radical exercise regimes)- it's as though I need to feel something other than my emotions, and alcohol just isn't doing the job right now. I went on a 10 mile cycle ride last week that left me purple in the face, sweat running down my back, and made the pedal fall off my bike. I need to calm right down.
Found another red balloon bobbing about in my street again yesterday. Sadie ran up to it and stamped on it until it deflated. What this means I will never know but it made me laugh.

Soundtrack: Mika- Lollipop

Dirty Thirties

I've had a bit of writer's block recently, as you may well have noticed. It's all good though, if a little distracting, and I've been having quite a giggle the last couple of weeks. Life is funny isn't it? There I was, minding my own business, feeling like I could quite happily get into being on my own and being self-indulgent for a while, when a lithe young man comes along as I'm sitting on the beach, strips off COMPLETELY right in front of me, dives into the sea like some sort of Diet Coke hunk and then gets out and comes and asks me for coffee (he had got dressed by this point). Well- I couldn't really say no could I (even though I don't actually drink coffee- but who was I to spoil the moment and ask for a camomile tea instead), and I was most surprised as I was red-faced and wearing a tracksuit, having just been for a sweaty jog along the seafront. Having got my chick flick moment out the way (and a huge caffeine rush that left me jibbering for days), we have been on a couple of hot dates since, but I am happy just to keep it in a bubble of Hollywood perfection. It has served a purpose, and dragged me from under the black cloud, that up until then I wasn't aware I was under.
I love being 30. Someone close to me, who is now in their 40s, told me that your 30s are brilliant because you really know who you are and are much more confident in yourself. I had been looking forward to feeling like this throughout my crushingly self-doubting 20s, and I have to say, from the moment I toasted to my third decade of life, in Blackberry Woods campsite last August, I felt like a new beginning was upon me. I made a promise to myself that I would trust my instincts more, and be a little more selfish. After all, as great as turning 30 has proved to be, youth is rapidly leaving me. There's only 10 or so years left (if I'm lucky and stop drinking so much I might not end up the old fruit I am destined to be until my late 40s) of being considered remotely spring-chickenly and I intend to make the most of it. And thanks to Merman I now truly believe that anything is possible.... especially when you least expect it...

Soundtrack: Kylie- Wow

Knicker Flashing and Using Your Feet

The ever-buzzing and technicolor Brighton Festival has kicked off this month and I intend to visit and see as much as I can this time around as most years I seem to blink and miss it. A few of us went to the Spiegaltent last Friday to see a few acts. The FeelGood Floosies were particularly good, and one of the mums I know was amongst the can-canning knicker-flashing vamps. Brighton is full of surprises like this. People are rather liberal down here and it never shocks me too much to learn what other parents get up to in their spare time.
One of the things I'm really looking forward to is wandering the open houses- where local artists display their work in their homes and open their doors to the public. It's partly to admire their creations, but also to have a good nose around their usually rather impressive abodes. I do this every year, usually with Sadie, and the illustration Joy did of little un and myself using our legs is on the council's advert for the open houses trail, to encourage people to use their feet and not their petrol tanks to escort them around the local art on display. So I guess if I'm the face of eco, heart-friendly cultural exploring this year, I'd better go and darn well do it. I might even buy something this year to brighten up my flat. Andy moves into his new place this weekend and he's bound to nab most of the artwork already adorning our walls. He is welcome to it.

Fluff and Filing

Wow I am loving this weather. My life has gone rather dream like of late and the sunshine is the perfect accompaniment to my hazy contentedness. Work is quiet as my boss is in a meeting, and the computers are down so I'm twiddling about and staring out of the window waiting for 12.30 when I can go to the beach again. Sat on the beach last night and watched the sun go down with a good book, my notebook and half a bottle of red wine before meeting up with my new friend for moroccan food and giggles. Don't want this bubble to burst. Am I being really annoyingly fluffy or what? I will shut up and go and do some filing. Filing is very grounding I find...

Stick It Out

I was absolutely dreading this bank holiday. Sadie was staying with her dad and I feared I would be feeling pathetically melancholy while the rest of the world was basking in euphoria. Life is funny in how it can do you spontaneous favours sometimes. This weekend suddenly turned out to be one of the best weekends I have EVER had, for various reasons- great friends around, met some lovely new people, weather was great, danced my arse off at Stick It On (or Stick It Out as Geoff's lovely friend Tim referred to it on the door) on Saturday night, wandered through bluebells yesterday in the unexpected sunshine, and have basically come into work this morning with an enormous irritating grin on my face!
Apologies for lack of entries of late- I have been either lacking in inspiration or have been resisting the urge to explain too much of what happened to me this weekend. As much as I love to share my hilarious encounters with you readers, some things are best kept on file for a later date. Put it this way- I never realised going jogging could be quite so fruitful to one's temporary happiness.....
Hope you all had a splendid one too.

Soundtrack: Franz Ferdinand- Eleanore Put Your Boots Back On

Ex-nympho supermarket wars

'Happy Go Lucky' was enjoyed yesterday with the ever-soothing and entertaining Joy and Geoff. We were all on the edge of our seats most of the film as, for a Mike Leigh number, is was all too blimin happy. We all expected the smiling and slightly irritating Poppy to get raped by her driving instructor or some such ugliness, but oh no- it was all positive, despite the usual dark undertones and melancholy cello music. Very enjoyable too, although I must remember that being sad and viewing Mike Leigh creations generally doesn't mix. I probably should have opted for a chick flick this time round. Yes- my moods have been somewhat up and down- extremely so. I am told this is normal after splitting up with someone (it's been a long time since I last did- all I remember from then is suddenly becoming a bed-hopping nympho to deal with the feelings of hurt- not something I'll be doing this time around), and if the truth be known I am having remarkably more good days than bad. I've been a little on the feisty side though. Sadie and I popped into Tesco over the weekend and I was laden with bags, a child and her scooter, so I got in a bit of a flap when the basket I was trying to take got stuck. I eventually took the top two out, placed them on the floor, when suddenly the man who had been standing behind me all this time leapt in and nicked the first basket now available. I was fuming!! So I grabbed my basket next in line and charged after him red faced (and quite frankly feeling like I was about to burst into tears I was so insulted), taking great pleasure in barging into him right next to the organic section so that his basket dug right into his thigh. He looked a little perturbed and I felt much better for it. Luckily Sadie was oblivious to her mother getting all violent in the vegetable isle. Not sure how I would explain going against my usual preachings about hurting people not being a good way to show you are upset. Oops.

From Superheroes to Superscum!

What a beautiful day yesterday was. It all started off perfectly- I had set the day aside to spend with my lovely little girl. We spent the morning making white chocolate cornflake cakes and sandwiches for our beach picnic, then we skipped along the seafront whereupon we found ourselves surrounded by the Incredible Hulk, Batman, Superman and numerous Ghostbusters. A race was taking place for the charity Passing It On and contestants were dressed up as their favourite superheroes. This information had somehow missed the Cathy radar of fun runs, no doubt due to recent events and a slight lack of running practise of late.I had been recently ignoring my Runners World emails after all. A lesson had been learnt and I was gutted to have now known about it, but I shall be signing up for it next year. And Rachael would have loved it too. Oh what a lark we would have had.
Annoyed as I was at having missed out on the opportunity to dress up as Wonderwoman and get some well needed exercise, Sadie and I then found a nice spot of sand (yes sand- we do get it sometimes in Brighton you know!) to sit on and sunbathe, eat and play. Afterwards we headed Hove-wards for some trampolining and go-carting, the former of which always makes me do a little pee if I jump too high- tis the bain of childbirth unfortunately. Then we wandered about, drifting in and out of shops, cafes and the like, aimlessly absorbing the buzzing summeresque atmosphere of the high street. Then it happened- I spotted people sitting outside bars and cafes with large glasses of glistening liquid in their hands, laughing loudly and looking like they were in San Tropez or something, and I thought to myself "As much as I am enjoying this quality mother/daughter time THAT looks really fun" so I called up a friend and we spent the remainder of the day in a sunny beer garden working our way through their Rose supply, while Sadie did some colouring in or ate endless Walkers Crisps for entertainment. Friends joined us, more bottles of rose were popped open, and the day just disappeared under a cloud of dopamine and Vitamin D overloading. What a scummy mummy! But it was fun. I now have a tell-tale sign that I was slightly irresponsible yesterday- a bright red forehead. Rose make you forget things like sun safety, and being a ginge it's not a good idea to let that one slip. Oh well- the swelling and itching will go soon.
And now it is completely pissing it down. Sadie has gone to Chessington World of Adventures with her dad, so I'm treating myself to the cinema this afternoon- I'm going to see the new Mike Leigh film 'Happy Go Lucky'. Will let you know what I think on return...
And hello to my new reader L- hope you are enjoying my ramblings. Don't read it too often or not only will you be bored to death, but I will also have nothing to talk to you about when I next come in for a trim!

Soundtrack: Ray Parker Jr-Ghostbusters Theme