Get away from the bar.. tell your boyfriend hold your jar....

I am so glad I wasn't involved in a horrific accident as I cycled to work today as a) it would have hurt a lot and I might have died and b) I was carrying an item in an Asda carrier bag on my handle bars that would have made the paramedics think twice about resuscitating me. In my possession today was a copy of The Worst Book In The World… The Rules. A lovely, possibly quite naive girl from work had lent it to me when I mentioned that I was out of touch with the “dating game”. She said she followed “the rules” to the latter and that maybe I should do the same. So just being myself is a bad idea then? I think not. I will stick to my own set of rules thanks, and they seem to be working pretty well at present, even if I am only attracting unobtainable tree surgeons who smell of beeswax. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I didn’t need such a pile of wank to read thank you very much, so I borrowed it. It has sat on my bookshelf for the last week, unread and with the spine hidden from view in shame.
I once ran the self-help section of a chain of Books Etc and it never once occurred to me, in the two years I was there, to pick up The Worst Book In The World and take a peak at what gems it had to teach me. ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ was more my cup of tea. This book changed my life. After reading it at the bookshop till one day (oh it was a cut throat profession), I resigned from my job. I then went home and told my flatmates I was moving out, before calling my boyfriend to finish our relationship. I changed three major things in my life in 24 hours and to this day never regretted the decisions I made. Susan Jeffers is a star as opposed to those corrupt and patronising Fein and Schneider twats.