Super Bore Me

Did anyone see that ITV documentary last night 'The Truth About Binge Drinking' with some prototype singer from Liberty X? It followed her having a month-long drinking session to show viewers the 'real affects of drinking too much'. What a load of shit that was- the worst thing that happened to her was that her voice (her 'livelihood' as she called it) went a bit croaky, her very boring husband was worried when she came home later than midnight, and she got snapped in a gossip mag looking a bit boss-eyed with an ex Big Brother contestant. Jesus- now I know MY drinking antics aren't that rock n' roll anymore (my idea of a good session involves a lot of sitting, eating and a good film- Hello Anna who we just spent new year with- sorry it wasn't your wildest night away) but I haven't agreed to be filmed for a 90 minute documentary. I wouldn't inflict watching my boring life on anyone. You can read about it in my blog if you so choose, but I hope I don't profess to be the epitome of anything, and claim to prove things about other people's lives along the way. Yes-the Liberty X bird was drinking too much (they estimated she was having about 75 units per week, although she must have got too pissed to remember to write all her units in her little black book, so it was probably more)and that isn't great, but it didn't prove anything new. Obviously drinking 4 times the amount of the recommended weekly quantity is going to make you feel tired, have an effect on your memory and your immune system. Whoopy f@£king do!! I should have stuck to stimulating board games instead of being lured in by the wide screen.
I once had my drinking diary published in More! magazine, along with a few others. Some doctors came along and analysed what we had drunk and commented on whether we needed help or not. According to them- I did. I had an unusual week that week as I hadn't been at work and had some money so obviously I went a bit wild- well, I was young and single for crying out loud. It would have been a bit sad if I hadn't. I ended up having so much fun that on one of my many benders, I went home with Dennis Pennis. Not a bad time was had all in all. But I was 21, having fun. I kept a diary and back at More! HQ Channel 5's Richard Arnold (yes- that orange faced chatshow host- he had to start somewhere- gosh I am name dropping with all these g-listers am I not) and I worked out that I had ended up consuming 101 units that week (about 50 were with the Pennis). I was a bit embarrassed (although Richard's comment was 'Good girl!') and those 'experts' were horrified, but I have lived to tell the tale and laugh about it. I would never be able to drink that much anymore- not only because I am a mum and don't really get drunk in the proper falling over/seeing double sense, but my body won't allow it. I'm getting older and I don't want wake up every day feeling like I've been attacked by a hungry baby walrus . I got that over-indulging bit of my life out of the way (well- with the booze- now I greedily slavver on expensive, Waitrose ingredients) and don't regret it. I had a liver check up about 2 years ago and it's fine. I think the nation needs something like alcohol to keep it feeling fruity, and it's down to the individual how much they choose to poison themselves. I just wish they'd stop trying to tell us the truth, because we already know it's bad for us, and maybe that makes the stuff just a little bit more appealing....

Soundtrack: Adam and the Ants- Goody Two Shoes