What are we like? (lazy skankers if you must know)

I feel a mixture of self-annoyance and smugness today. The annoyance with myself is that our local fishmonger has had to close down and I feel sad about this but then I realise that I never really bought my fish from him enough, and chose to go to Tesco or Waitrose instead on far too many occasions. Many people would think that fair enough, as life can be busy, especially when children are about, and nipping across the road to a supermarket is more convenient than traipsing across town in the wind and rain to get some fish. But this fishmonger, and his name is Nigel Sayers, was a clever chap (although obviously still didn't drum up enough trade), and offered customers the chance to ring him to order fish and have it delivered it to your door by bicycle for free. I think I went to him about 5 times a year which is shameful. I get angry with people who are ignorant about food, and are lazy about where they buy it and don't think about where or how it got there, but I am just as bad. I got on a bus today and Nigel Sayers was driving it. These are sad times. Thank god for the likes of crusaders like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Jamie Oliver. Go and use independent food suppliers people! Or soon they will be a thing of the past. I am going to do it more that's for sure.
Anyway- onto my smugness. In January all the local gyms are desperately trying to fool people into becoming members of their establishments, hoping that the new year guilt will spur punters on. SO- they are giving free trial runs to ANYONE. This means you can go to lots of these luxury leisure centres for nowt during this month, and the only catch is that some spotty teenager sits you down for 10 minutes (but they do get you free tea) and trys to sell you stuff. Just ignore this bit, sup your tea fast so you get another, and enjoy a nice swim, sauna and the novelty of using a changing room that smells of expensive wood rather than piss. Or you can play tennis, use the gym or whatever. This is what we've just spent this afternoon doing (I really must start writing The Book now that Sadie has started full time school but one week of living it up won't hurt) and it was bliss. We spent two hours swimming, steaming ourselves or sitting in a jacuzzi for NOTHING. Hence my smugness. Unfortunately, another minor downside is that you get lots of other free-wheelers in there. We had the luxury of sharing the jacuzzi with three Vicky Pollards. All they talked about for 10 minutes were boob jobs. I kid ye not. But using a free, swanky gym is a fab way to enjoy dismal January. Warning however: choose the time you go carefully. Generally, off peak times are best and also when the self-pampering isn't interrupted with an aqua-aerobics class or such like. There I was, dreamily swimming along in the relative peace and serenity of the warm waters, I pushed myself out of the pool in my far-too-tight swimsuit to stand on the side of the pool when suddenly Tom Jones' 'Sex Bomb' came booming from the speakers. The wrinklies had turned up for their aqua workout. I had to walk around the entire pool to get to the changing room, with this cheesy number being my accompaniment. Very embarrassing. Despite this, we plan to work our way around all the gyms in Brighton and Hove this month without spending a penny.