Happy New Year

ooo what a crazy week we've had with all the visiting people and drinking the contents of their fridges, and now we are in Devon with friends. The kids are playing beautifully, and as the pubs in this village are closed, we've decided to stay in and get merry. I've started early with my new year celebrations- I'm supping a lager shandy as I type (I like to party in style). Christmas was just as wonderful as we had hoped, with my first attempt at cooking goose being a major success, what with a bit of help from 'Blanc Christmas' and the December issue of Good Food Magazine. My 75 year old mother in law said it was the best meal she had eaten in her life and she's not even completely lost her marbles yet!
Sadie got so many presents it is disgusting. We are even plannning to move house to fit everything in. She turns 5 in a month and we are contemplating sending money to children's charities instead of getting her any more toys and trinkets. It would seem a bit mean in a way, but we shall see. A friend of hers at school has just moved over here from Korea and they had to give away all her toys when they moved, so maybe we'll sort some out to hand onto her. I'm sure Sadie could part with more than one of her now huge collection of eleven Barbie dolls. She has one in every nationality- there is even a blue one that looks like an alien to cater for extra terrestrial PC-ness.
Have a good one- I'm off to pour myself another glass of something fizzy and cold.

Soundtrack: I'm working on it..... it's difficult to hear what song is in my head when youi're sitting next to four children playing pool whilst listening to the demo on the very loud keyboard in the corner. For now my soundtrack appears to be a panpipe version of 'How Deep is Your Love' with the clattering of snooker balls as an accompaniment. I am going to escape before I have a migraine.

11:42pm: chosen soundtrack: Shannon-Let the Music Play

My favourite day of the year is here!!

If there is anyone out there weird enough to be reading this now- happy Christmas!! Hope you all have a good one. We are just about to go for a stroll along the bleary seafront and then I'm heading back here to get the goose in the oven before we head to the pub for one or three aperitifs! (now you are getting why I like this day so much- I get to drink in the middle of the day and it's not frowned upon...)
We were woken at 3.30am this morning by Sadie wanting to open her presents. When I persuaded her that it would be a much better idea to do it when mummy wasn't furious and was actually able to open her eyes and smile she soon settled down. Ten minutes later however, when she'd obviously been lying awake trying to dissect the plausibility of Father Christmas having actually been in the flat, along came the questions about how he got down the chimney when ours is blocked, how come the glass that had Santa's sherry in had now been washed up (she went to check) and why the wrapping paper poking out of the top of her stocking was the same as the presents that daddy had wrapped mine in. So there I was at around 4am today telling lie after lie to my daughter. I have to say, it didn't feel right, and I was tempted to blurt out that really Santa didn't exist, but I resisted and have kept the dream going. Another year, another giant fib. But what the hell- my parents lied to me for about 8 years about Santa and it hasn't screwed me up too much. (she says- having just signed up for another 6 months of psychotherapy)
I've just been listening to Classic FMs Christmas choices and I found myself blubbing to 'Once in Royal David's City', and I've just come in the bedroom to find Andy, on Christmas day, deeply engrossed in a copy of Richard Dawkins' 'The God Delusion'. How could he? Now I'm not a religious woman, but I have been in the past, and although I don't officially believe in any of that brainwashing, I like to pretend, like with Santa to Sadie, that perhaps there really was an amazing baby called Jesus and that there is nice cuddly man with a beard looking down on us and taking care of things. I only do this about once a year, or if someone I know is ill or has been involved in a serious accident, but it kind of works for me, as this is what Christmas meant when I was a nipper, being from a religious family and that. I took Andy and the mother in law to Christmas Eve mass yesterday and we kept giggling when they mentioned 'unmarried woman' and 'pregnant' and 'how can that be?'. It was a bit of a bells and smells church, the priest sang too loud and out of time, half of the carols were medieval, and the Santa they brought on for the kids at the end was rubbish- he looked anorexic and kept asking all the newborn babies what they wanted for Christmas. But no matter how naff and stupid and out of date it all is, I like to retreat back to my childhood on the 25th dec and believe in the unbelievable.

Soundtrack: Pipettes- A Winter's Sky

Christmas Pudding Run!

We did it!! Rebs and I ran 5 miles yesterday morning, in the freezing cold wearing nothing but our running gear and our santa hats. We ran up slippery muddy hills and through sludgy fields but we loved it!! Oh how we laughed. We were amongst the last half of people through the finishing line (Rebs' new running friend became a man of about 90 who kept wheezing- she had to mentally run through her vague knowledge of first aid just to stop herself from panicking) but we don't care- we ran all that way and we survived!! It was actually rather hilarious, as we took so long to do the run compared to some of the professional tri-athletes and runners that when we were approaching the end, some cars were driving past us, already on their way home having finished half an hour ago! When I arrived at the line it was blocked with people milling about discussing which pub to go to for a ploughmans. I assume they thought "why is that ginger woman running towards us- the race finished ages ago". The marshalls had to lead me to the finishing post- I couldn't even see it through the crowds of people packing away. Ironically Andy and Sadie also weren't there to cheer me through one of my finest moments, as just at the crucial time of completion Sadie needed a number two. Bloody kids! So there was me, running around trying to actually find the finishing line with no one clapping for me! How tragic, but I feel smug and self-righteous now anyway. Plus I got half a glass of mulled wine (Rebs and I had to share as they had nearly run out, having quenched the thirst of the sprinters aeons ago) and a christmas pudding to take home. Ace. We shall definitely be signing up next year.

Soundtrack: Queen-Don't Stop Me Now /Survivor-Eye of the tiger (can't decide which I prefer but they both serve as cheesy background tunes to my day of glory)

Posh nosh

I am going doolally with all the socialising this christmas. There are still 5 days to go and I'm already looking forward to the bit afterwards where I don't have to do anything apart from work out where we are going to put all Sadie's new toys and how to get the goose fat off the roasting pan (to keep for gold dust roasted potatoes of course). Been up to London over the last 24 hours for dinner at Andy's brother's. We ate snails and foie gras and drank expensive red wine. I love going up to visit them despite travelling on a train with a hyperactive four year old. It's like going to a very exclusive French restaurant, only we don't have to pay and we get hugs from the hosts. It's Andy's birthday today and I took him for a delicious meal at Graze, on Western Road in Hove. I had celery, apple and chestnut soup followed by pork belly, black pudding and cassoulet. Andy can't remember what he had but he says it was good, and asks why am I writing all this down anyway- who is interested in what we had for lunch? Anyway Graze is bloody great and they do a lunchtime deal which means we ate in style for almost nowt. I'm off to bed early as I need to replenish my body before my big run on Saturday. Rebs has assured me that she runs like she's walking (as opposed to me who runs, walks a bit, runs, walks a bit, etc) so I think we will have a right laugh at ourselves and our uncoordinated techniques, and then feel very smug afterwards that we gave it all a go.

Today was bloody freezing but I was catapulted back to a time when I was very hot. An Indian woman from the school invited Sadie and I over to her house this afternoon for samosas and pakora. She treated me like a goddess, serving me chi and yummy food. It was heaven, and reminded me of our trip to India last winter when we befriended a Goan family who invited us over for a meal. They made us a feast and didn't eat themselves- finding pleasure in watching us enjoy their food. Elveena is a lovely woman, and has invited us back one day for more gorging and interesting chat. I was reminded how friendly and welcoming Indian people are. It's very refreshing when you're used to stiff englishness and awkwardness. They have only been here a few months, having moved from Delhi, and I wondered if I was her first english guest. I was glad to have been to her birth land and be able to understand her culture a little. Even though I found Delhi actually a bit of a nightmare when we travelled India (we were with a four year old with delhi-belly after all), I could now appreciate having been to such a different place.

It's my party and I'll dance to Europe if I want to

Well the party is over and I can tell it was a good one as after 48 hours my hands are still shaking, and the evidence of the fun had is shown in the last CD in the CD player being the Daily Mail's '80s Rock Classics'. I do recall, as my "little" brother (Ok so he's a 6ft accountant but he's still my younger) was escorted home by one of my saucy single mum friends from the school at 5am, 'Final Countdown' playing and me, in my Sexy Santa costume (someone said I looked like an Ann Summers window display- well if you can't dress like a slut at your own party when can you?), dancing about with a glass of flat champagne in my hand.
My black eye caused great controversy at the social gathering, with many dirty looks being directed at poor Andy. One of my friends was so sympathetic that she subconsciously caused herself to get a replica shiner on the same eye, when playing mini golf with her son yesterday. At the school gates this morning we resembled the Kray twins. (see photo of us in the wars)
Just received my favourite Christmas greeting EVER from the lovely Caroline and her brood- see http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1386057184... it's hilarious!

Christmas is dangerous

God I am such a perfectionist at Christmas- it's a bit sad and very scary. I've finished my present buying, wrapped them and put them under the tree, I've re-filmed my child's nativity play and it's faultless, the decorations are all up, I've made tomato chilli chutney for all my family, I've sent EVERYONE I know cards, I've prepped all the food for making canapes at my party on Saturday, I've menu planned for Christmas day, and booked all the pantos and carol services any small child would need to get their deserved amount of festive joy ("enough already" you all cry. See- told you I was mad about this time of year). But now Christmas has bitten back to make me stop being such a sad arse. There I was, pottering and faffing about making everything "just so" on the mantelpeice, ready for Saturday's "crowd" of party goers, when the heaviest and spikiest decoration (apart from our 9ft tree) fell on my face. It really, really hurt and now I have a corker of a black eye. Oh how I cried and then laughed hysterically at myself. So now I've stopped my flapping and am supping some nice red wine to wind me down. And yey- The Street is on tonight!
P.S. If anyone's interested and following my academic career- I did manage to complete my first assignment last week despite all the sleeping and bleeding it was causing me...

Soundtrack: Kate Nash-Dickhead

All I want for Christmas.... is a decent video of my child in her first nativity

Just been to Sadie's first Nativity Play. Poor little love. She was right down there in the role of a "townsperson", sat at the side, her costume was brown winter clothing and daddy arrived late for the show so had to stand right at the back meaning the video we have of her first school play is shite and shows the back of a dad's head (one who arrived on time as he has a seat at the front), topped off with Sadie's woolly hat poking out somewhere in the background. Occasionally you can see her nose. I sat at the side and saw her singing beautifully. Luckily it's on again tomorrow so I've bought another ticket to get a proper recording. She took not being Mary, an angel or a star very well I thought, and despite usually having an aversion to anything but the colour pink, was happy to wear muddy tones. I am very proud of her. At least next year she can't feel disappointed in whatever role they give her. "Townsperson" is about as bad as it gets- even sheep or donkey is better.

Annie revelations and aching lungs

I have only just realised why I wasn't allowed to watch the musical 'Annie' when I was a nipper.... we watched it yesterday with Sadie and it all made sense. On the one hand, my parents are strict Catholics and 'Annie' is in fact a rather saucy production which I'm sure my mother wouldn't approve of. I can't tell you how many female gussets were flashed but there were plenty. On the other hand, we were always allowed to watch 'Carry On' films and Benny Hill, so I think my second theory is correct: they were probably being sensitive, as I am a cheeky ginger lass who's mum adopted me at birth, and Annie is a cheeky ginger lass whose parents abandoned her at birth, ends up living in a stinking orphanage and then later discovers her real parents are dead. Yes- it all makes perfect sense now as to why I was never exposed to this film. Glad I have now watched it as it's a classic- Sadie has been singing 'Tomorrow' ever since. And luckily, I have since found out that my birth mother is alive and well. In fact we're going to visit her this Christmas, for the third year running.As for my natural dad; he might be alive, but if he is he's well into his 70s by now and is married with at least three children in their early fifties, and might not appreciate me turning up out of the blue, resembling the one night stand he had back in 1976.
So, like Annie, my story had a happy ending too, although I wasn't lucky enough to have a big party with fireworks spelling out my name in the sky.
Just been for a mile run along seafront and nearly died. First time I've run since I had head cold and I am so out of practice- only 2 weeks until I've got to do 5 miles!!! Jesus. It's now an hour since I got back from run and I'm still bright purple.

Soundtrack: Elastica-Annie

Explosion over breakfast

Warning: do not violently sneeze whilst eating shredded wheat.

Chocolate Brownies and The Street

See title for two of my favourite things, and two things I enjoyed simultaneosly this evening. Thank god for the chocolate comfort as, as ever, The Street left me in tears. What an amazing series. Very Mike Leigh in fact, although with more of a sprinkle of optimism thrown in at the end. See recipe below for my fave brownie recipe by the way, and The Street can be found on BBC1 every Thursday night at 9pm.
We now have a Christmas tree!! And it's 9ft tall!! Not as mad as you may think as our ceilings (as they are a la Regency stylee) are about 12ft high. We went on a lovely trip yesterday to Wilderness Wood near Haywards Heath and it's one of the best places I've ever been to in East Sussex. Great for kids too and their trees are beautiful and bargainous so get yours from there if you live near me. See www.wildernesswood.co.uk for details...

Chocolate Brownies
100g butter
50g cocoa powder
2 eggs
225g caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence
50g self raising flour
50g small walnut pieces

Preheat oven to 180oC. Line small baking tin with baking sheet. Melt butter and add cocoa. Mix until no lumps. Beat eggs and add sugar. Mix until smooth. Stir in cocoa mix and vanilla essence. Add flour bit by bit, until combined. Mix in walnut pieces. Pur mixture into tin and bake for about 30mins.

Soundtrack: two Great Xmas singles from bands I know- both are great sparkly festive tunes-
Pocketbooks-Christmas In Your Sights
Priscillas-One Christmas Wish (listen to http://www.myspace.com/thepriscillas)

I am a drinker with a writing problem

As I mentioned earlier in my blogging, since being a stay-at-home mum (makes it sound easy but I've actually spent 5 years running around as though my arse was on fire) for half a decade, my brain has turned to mush(well- the academic side at any rate-some parts connected to irrational fears about paedophiles and anxiety about the correct fit of Clarks shoes have developed beyond their necessity). For example, as you will know if you are a regular reader, I was so enthralled by studying again that the first time I sat down to do my course, I fell into a very deep sleep. The course is now ticking by, and I'm completing my first proper assignment this week. I thought it would be a good idea to go to the library to escape the pressures of housewifery (as an aspiring novelist, the piles of ironing and washing up get bigger but it's the price you pay-and I'd rather have a messy flat and be creative, than live in an ultra tidy flat with nothing happening- if you ever come round to my flat and it's spotless tell me to get on with my writing as I'm obviously not doing enough). It all started off good- I sat down and was just enjoyably (I know- scary) absorbed in indents and en-dashes when red spots started to appear on the page. I was having a f+@"ing nose bleed! My brain was now, unable to nod off, going into overdrive and was so confused by the signals to learn about editing as opposed to the words to 'Little Donkey' it had decided to blow a vessel!
Oh the embarrassment. It's like it's trying to tell me something. I'm off to do the ironing. That will calm my mind. (my neurons: "Ah good- she is doing something mundane again- relax girls. Let's hope she doesn't try any of that wordy learning malarkey again or we might just explode from the shock")

Head Cold

Looking after my friends' kids today which is great in that Sadie is entertained but the place is so noisy! I have retreated to the office for some peace. It's just stopped raining outside- the first time for 24 hours and now I feel a bit cheerier. Dark skies and head colds bring with them much melancholy. Yesterday when it was pissing it down, we had to cancel our first outing to the Rottingdean Smuggler's Night- suddenly wandering around the streets looking at craft stalls in the dark, cold and damp was the last thing we felt like doing, so we got in the car and drove around the rough suburbs, hunting for the best Chrismassy house. It's early days but there are some corkers out there already. I love having a kid for many reasons, but being able to show them the glittering wonderland of council estates is one of my favourite things to do as a parent. Forget disneyland- when you have people who make that much effort making their homes into sparkling tack fests - you have a ready made dreamland on your doorstep, or up the road past the detention centre at any rate....
Children have found me in my cave. Can't think. Must go.

Soundtrack: Billy Holiday-What a difference a day makes