Born Sad

Friday night we were meant to be going to the fantastic-sounding Born Bad night at Brighton's Komedia. Ellie came down from London and we started drinking too early, so blew Joy etc out in favour of what we thought was going to be a quiet night at the pub and an early night. Only it didn't happen that way. After 11 hours of drinking, we, at 3am, staggered home having spent the night consuming a mixture of beer, wine, vodka and gin, and ended up in some seedy dive in Hove. To sum up the state we were in, the two men we were "fighting off" at the end of the evening wore tracksuits, and one was the other man's carer. But oh it was fun-especially the dancing around to Chaka Khan bit before I threw up. Sadie was staying the night at her best friends' place, so I somehow thought it appropriate to revert back to my days of debauchery.
So this my friends will explain my lack of entries- I have been recently catapulted into a world of nausea, but I'm just about coming round. Well- everyone else had that vomiting bug so I felt a bit left out.....
Last week before this was a great week as my stories went down a treat at Sadie's school and I've been asked back for their Book Week. I also got a day's proofreading work which was rather fun- I do like my corrections. Plus I got to read all sorts of interesting police case files which made the proofing that more interesting.
Andy has been away skiing and got back yesterday after a 24 hour delay on his flight. We've been busy catching up while Sadie has been in school today. He helped me with my tax returns and I made him a jacket potato. Ah coupledom. It's great when you appreciate it once more.

Arse

Whether it's made my appetite increase, changed my metabolism or it's just muscle growth (yeah right), since I started jogging regularly since last Spring my arse has got bigger. This was not supposed to happen. Let this be reassurance to all of you feeling guilty about not sticking to your new year's resolution for a fitter year; exercise doesn't always do what it says on the packet, if you see what I mean. Yes, running around a lot is good for my circulation, it lifts my moods (of which there are aplenty) and wards off colds, but I didn't expect a fatter booty. If I don't run for a few days I pile the weight on those buttock cheeks and upper thighs like nobody's business, whereas before I exercised at all, I could eat what I wanted and stayed slim. My butt hasn't been this large since my University diet of take away chicken burgers and 10 pints a night. Bugger it. I will have to keep running now as it's the only thing that works.
P.S. Not doing the half marathon until later in the year now- Rachael and I going for Sports Relief in March which is 6 miles; much more realistic. Anyone care to join our red faced and breathless brigade?

Jackanory I am not

Somewhere inside me I think there must be a frustrated wannabe Primary School teacher itching to get out, as now I have again roped myself into doing more than my fair share of parental assistance at the school. I'm going in tomorrow to read some of my own children's stories to Sadie's class. It'll be great fun and it's nice at last to use them for something, as they will never be published. Sadie will also no doubt love me coming in to do this which will be really cute. But I am a little concerned as writing for kids, I realised years ago, isn't my forte. Put it this way, if you were extremely drunk you could be fooled into thinking my rhymes are a bit like some of the Dr Seuss stories, but they really aren't. Dr Seuss was a genius of words; making simple sentences turn clever. My children's stories are just plain simple. One of the many reasons I love children, is that they are like small pissed people, so Sadie's classmates will no doubt love my stories, despite their simplicity and unoriginality. I might have to edit the bit where the doggy does a poop (it's very high brow). That could get them all a little excited. Oh well here goes nothing. Apart from my writer's pride.
Oh- I have lost my half marathon partner so any offers anyone? Go on- it'll be fun...
I'm off to run in the rain this afternoon so what with this and my volunteering to expose my talentless prose, maybe I have gone mad after all.

Half Cut Marathon here we come

Ooo I have been beaten at scrabble by Rachael. Mind you- I had drunk half a bottle of red and the board was sideways on, so it was to be expected! I was so sozzled at one point that I put the word 'GE' down, and also tried to put 'UNO' and 'OXO'. Oh dearie me.
We were in such high spirits that we decided last night that we're going to do the Mayor of Lydd's Charity Half Marathon this March, so I'd better get my trainers back on... Why do I do it to myself?
Have managed this last half of the week to continue getting freebies at every turn. Yesterday and today I have had the offer of breakfast at two of the mums' houses. I have accepted both of course. Mind you, one of them was in exchange for helping her clean her flat for the landlord. It's a weird experience when you don't know someone all that well and there you are, doing their drying up and making their daughter's bed. But I get another free meal out of it tomorrow as she's coming over to mine to cook me some posh chicken dish.
Made bangers and mash last night with onion gravy; here is my recipe for the gravy - it's dead easy and it MAKES this meal:

Cathy's Onion Gravy
1 onion, chopped fine
150ml red wine (drink the rest obviously)
150ml beef stock
salt and pepper

Cook sausages in a roasting tin in a knob of butter. When cooked remove and keep warm. Add onions to fat and cook until slightly soft. Add wine, stock and seasoning and de-glaze roasting tin. Bring to boil and simmer for 20 mins. Pour over bangers and mash.

Freedom!

Apart from if I count the numerous yoga classes I've attended and the times in my life when I have been asleep, this is officially the most relaxed I have been in 30 years. For the first time in 5 years I have 6 hours a day to myself, 5 days a week. Ok so I had hours of free time to myself before I became a mother, but I never appreciated it like this. Although much of this me-time is now spent trying to find a part time job, or sorting out our flat which is in a constant squat-like state, it's still very laid back. I don't have to clock watch as I have liturally hours until I have to pick up my little one. I miss her but hell am I enjoying this bit. Maybe next week I'll be going insane, but for now I will enjoy the peace and quiet time of me-ness. I'm off to write some more letters to friends that I miss, and to drink some herbal tea very slowly. It's like I've come to the end of a 5 year contract for a job that was 24 hours a day. It's still parenting, and she can still impersonate the girl in the Exorcist from time to time, but there is a big space to breathe in between so that I can enjoy her even more.

Did anyone see the Hugh FW programme this week that's been about free range chicken? The man is a genius; he actually got Andy and I both in tears over the welfare of poultry. I usually buy free range anyway but I will always now. I'm loving Big Food Fight week on channel 4: let's hope it makes a difference to people's attitudes. See http://www.channel4.com/food/ for more info.

Abigail's Party eat your heart out

Have a slight headache after the cheese and wine and words party last night turned into a cheese and GIN and words party. It was great fun to see lovelies Joy and Geoff, and scoff our faces with crackers and Wensleydale, AND I won the Scrabble contest!- even with Scrabble genius Geoff Westby to contend with- I only won by the hair of my teeth though(is that correct? No). Either I am in fact getting rather good at this game or Geoff, who was keeping score, was just being a nice chap and fiddled the results. I also learnt a new word- LUGE: a light toboggan ridden in a sitting or lying position. Thank you Joy.
When we opened the Scrabble box that had once belonged to my parents (they handed it over to me this Christmas)- and bear in mind it hadn't been used since the late 70s/early 80s- the smells took us all straight back to our childhoods- well it took Andy back to his early 20s. The tile bag itself contained a mixture of plastic, electrical and library smells culminating in a complete mental summary of that era. I could even hear the sound of Abba and see my dad's Magnum moustache in my mind as I inhaled. It was rather weird. I wish I could bottle that smell forever.
Last night was such a success that Andy and I have decided to invite friends over every week for an evening of food, booze and board games. When we had decided this I immediately went to the cupboard for a pen and some paper to write a list of all the people we could have over. How tragic. I am one of those list-writing types you see. The list was quite long mind. Andy said that when I die my epitaph should read:
'Hang on a minute- I haven't written a list.....'

What are we like? (lazy skankers if you must know)

I feel a mixture of self-annoyance and smugness today. The annoyance with myself is that our local fishmonger has had to close down and I feel sad about this but then I realise that I never really bought my fish from him enough, and chose to go to Tesco or Waitrose instead on far too many occasions. Many people would think that fair enough, as life can be busy, especially when children are about, and nipping across the road to a supermarket is more convenient than traipsing across town in the wind and rain to get some fish. But this fishmonger, and his name is Nigel Sayers, was a clever chap (although obviously still didn't drum up enough trade), and offered customers the chance to ring him to order fish and have it delivered it to your door by bicycle for free. I think I went to him about 5 times a year which is shameful. I get angry with people who are ignorant about food, and are lazy about where they buy it and don't think about where or how it got there, but I am just as bad. I got on a bus today and Nigel Sayers was driving it. These are sad times. Thank god for the likes of crusaders like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Jamie Oliver. Go and use independent food suppliers people! Or soon they will be a thing of the past. I am going to do it more that's for sure.
Anyway- onto my smugness. In January all the local gyms are desperately trying to fool people into becoming members of their establishments, hoping that the new year guilt will spur punters on. SO- they are giving free trial runs to ANYONE. This means you can go to lots of these luxury leisure centres for nowt during this month, and the only catch is that some spotty teenager sits you down for 10 minutes (but they do get you free tea) and trys to sell you stuff. Just ignore this bit, sup your tea fast so you get another, and enjoy a nice swim, sauna and the novelty of using a changing room that smells of expensive wood rather than piss. Or you can play tennis, use the gym or whatever. This is what we've just spent this afternoon doing (I really must start writing The Book now that Sadie has started full time school but one week of living it up won't hurt) and it was bliss. We spent two hours swimming, steaming ourselves or sitting in a jacuzzi for NOTHING. Hence my smugness. Unfortunately, another minor downside is that you get lots of other free-wheelers in there. We had the luxury of sharing the jacuzzi with three Vicky Pollards. All they talked about for 10 minutes were boob jobs. I kid ye not. But using a free, swanky gym is a fab way to enjoy dismal January. Warning however: choose the time you go carefully. Generally, off peak times are best and also when the self-pampering isn't interrupted with an aqua-aerobics class or such like. There I was, dreamily swimming along in the relative peace and serenity of the warm waters, I pushed myself out of the pool in my far-too-tight swimsuit to stand on the side of the pool when suddenly Tom Jones' 'Sex Bomb' came booming from the speakers. The wrinklies had turned up for their aqua workout. I had to walk around the entire pool to get to the changing room, with this cheesy number being my accompaniment. Very embarrassing. Despite this, we plan to work our way around all the gyms in Brighton and Hove this month without spending a penny.